QuoteAddict

Here are some funny, absurd, insightful or motivational quotes I've heard or found on the web. If you have a quote that you would like to share, please use our contact form or email us.


All quotes - QuoteAddict

All (813 quotes found)


771.  
"Well, if you destroy him early, please come by."
Ann Perkins, Parks and Recreation    

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772.  
"Oh my God, your inbox is LITERALLY filled with penises."
Chris Traeger, Parks and Recreation    

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773.  
"When I eat, it is the food that is scared."
Ron Swanson, Parks and Recreation    

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774.  
"Sorry, I was talking to these ribs."
Ron Swanson, Parks and Recreation    

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775.  
"Fry, it's 2am! What are you doing here glowing on my skanks?"
Bender, Futurama    

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776.  
"We're under attack and the wedding's off. Kif, return fire and the cake."
Zapp Brannigan, Futurama    

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777.  
"Then once again my lies have been proven true."
Zapp Brannigan, Fururama    

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778.  
"Every two weeks I need to sand down my toe nails. They're too strong for clippers."
Ron Swanson, Parks and Recreation    

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779.  
"Let me tell you something else that's interesting Ben. I farted, 5 minutes ago. Didn't even smell it till just now. That's how tight my pants are."
Andy, Parks and Recreation    

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780.  
"Any moron with a crucible and a settling torch and a cast iron waffle maker could of done the same. The whole thing only took me about 20 minutes. People who buy things are suckers."
Ron Swanson, Parks and Recreation    

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